Just What Every Pregnant Woman Longs to Hear
Any day now, I feel like I'm going to pop. As I write this, our twin boys are not due for another four weeks but I am bigger than I ever was with our other three kids. For the past three weeks I've been on partial bed rest and have not been out much, which in some ways has been a blessing. I was ready to scream if I heard one more sales clerk tell me, "Twins? With three more at home? Oh my, are you going to have your hands full!" or "Twins? That explains why you're so big! You poor dear..."
I'd come up with some pretty nasty responses in my mind like, "Well at least I'm big because I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?" Thankfully, my guardian angel reminded me the golden rule still applies to rude people. But my self restraint was definitely waning.
People should always remember, one negative comment can ruin an entire day for the hormonally imbalanced pregnant population. And considering how hot it's been this summer, you're taking your life into your own hands when you make insulting comments to a stressed, tired, pregnant mom who has already heard 10 times that day that she must be due any minute when she's really two months away.
My advice is, just don't comment about the pregnancy unless you're going to say something that could only be positive. Here are some ideas:
"You look beautiful! Pregnancy really suits you."
"I'm sure you're going to be a great mom." (If she's pregnant for the first time.)
"We're praying for you that all goes well for you and your baby/babies."
"I just baked a pan of brownies, when's a good time to drop some off?" (This is my personal favorite!)
Here is a list of some of the worst things you could say, most of which people have said to me already. (If you're reading this and you think, "Oh no! I said that!" don't worry. I don't hate you, I've just cut you out of my will.)
"Wow! Have you ever popped out!"
"So when are you due? Not until then? You must feel so miserable!" (You might as well just come out and say, "Boy, it must really stink to be a beached whale during the hot summer.")
"Oh, twins! That's why you look like your due date was yesterday!"
"You're having twins? Oh, my neighbor had twins and it was just awful. She was in labor for 64 hours ending in a c-section without anesthesia and she didn't see the babies for a month!" or any other horror stories about labor, delivery, or what it's like to have babies/multiples.
"I'm glad it's you and not me having a baby/twins!" I like to respond, "Me too!"
"Oh boy, are you going to have your hands full! I hope you're going to have help - how will you ever manage?" This is a great way to instill confidence in an already nervous mother!
I know people don't intend to be rude, but just remember pregnant moms are sensitive. As our moms used to say, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!"
Read to find out how we dealt with miscarriage